Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in Heather, PhD of Sex Therapy (Its all in my head)'s LiveJournal:

Saturday, January 28th, 2006
1:42 pm	A How To Cheating Guide 1. keep traick of your lies 2. Keep your lies to a minimum 3. Do NOT tell your friends 4. Do NOT cheat on your partners' friend 5. Do NOT become the victim of a set schedule 6. Make sure your partner doesnt know this person Funny stuff. ( Customers in Line for Services )
1:27 pm	LMAO The PC muscle is the one you flex when you have to pee and are trying not to. Please note that Kegel exercises are normally not done while urinating. (4 Paying Customers | Customers in Line for Services )
11:29 am	Ok. I was laying this morning and came up with some strange thoughts. B.Y.O.C. - Bring Your Own Condoms I'm thinking this could be good on an invination (i forgot how to spell it shut up) for a swingers party. Does someones' breath change once their body starts to release pheremones? ( I think it does) Do the chemicals in sweat change, but especially in different states of arrousal? What if I get married and stuck having sex with that one person for 50 years? I would prefer a week long doeverybodybeforeIgetengaged week so I would not be upset not being with someone once. (I know it wont happen but its a good thought) Does all the cranberry juice I drink do anything good for me? ( I drink 64 ounces in a week) I would be upset if there was a fire and sex was interrupted. I do think it would be funny being on a call and having to break in doors and finding people having sex to tell them there's a fire. hahahaha I was thinking how funny it would be to have friends over and go to the bathroom. The funny part would be the strange noises erupting from said bathroom. The list includes: Violin Chopping carrats Chainsaws Playing darts Girggling Woopie Cushion Bagpipes African tribal music Phantom of the Opera organ Vacuuming Coconut clapping (monty python) I would crack up the entire time if I did this. I could make two lists, one list of stuff to do for humor for the person waiting for me. The other list would be how many scary noises do I have to make to scare the person out of my house. The funnier part would be if I did this if the person waiting was someone who thought I was going to have sex with them. ( Customers in Line for Services )
Thursday, December 29th, 2005
12:16 am	People need to stop fucking inviting themselves to stay the night. Some invite themselves to hang out in the first place (not paul paul is always welcome) at my house and then invite themselves to stay the night. i wouldnt care if i could sleep fine with them here but then they fucking wake me up a zillion times. i'm a rough sleeper and can sleep through anything but when people are here they sometimes take up the entire bed or wake me up whenever they are awake by trying to hold me or whatever. if you invited yourself to fucking come over and then spend the night atleast show courtesy by not waking me up a zillion times. the other part, they keep me up all fucking night. cheeses rice. like last night i fell asleep at some point, then woken up at 1. i didnt go to sleep until 5. that happened when another person came over. its not even like i can get up and do stuff while im not sleeping. i have to respect them sleeping so i just lay there. if its just me and i cant sleep i get online and watch queer as folk or listen to music and i cant. im going to start making rules because people are so annoying. ok i will make them now A. Don't invite yourself to stay the night 2A. If you are rude enough to invite yourself to stay the night, find a place for your ass to sleep NOT NEXT TO ME. B. Don't wake me up a bazillion times a fucking night because you are awake. C. If I fall asleep let me fucking sleep. I dont care if you can or cant. Find something to do in my house i have plenty of shit you can break. D. Don't be obnoxious and act like you can't do anything because you invited yourself over. You can find the damn kitchen and see the glasses out. Dont bitch to me what we have to drink I dont make drinks specifically for your dumb ass. E. Deal with whatever music I have to put on to go to sleep. I cant go to sleep without it. i dont care if you hate classical or want to stab enya deal with it. F. Don't make up some obsurd thing to do the next day especially when we wake up. Suggesting something after mid-afternoon is fine. A fucking breakfast is not ideal. if i had to deal with your ass all night and Im bitchy does it look like I want fucking breakfast? I have crap to do and have to make up wasted time you kept me up with a nap later on. I might write this list down later. It may sound harsh but there are some very nice people that stay the night like Lisa and Paul and others (no names will be mentioned) that want me to go sit in the bathroom and have more fun. Current Music: Cold ( Customers in Line for Services )
Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
5:54 am	Atleast we were together, holding hands, flying through the sky.... I hate it when people are put in situations where they are helpless it makes me sad. ( Customers in Line for Services )
Monday, December 19th, 2005
6:12 pm	tell me, the u.s. wants to stop deforestation but they promote cutting down millions of pine trees for a fucking holiday and to benefit the economy. yea live trees are pretty and they can also start some nice ass house fires. i've never had a live tree nor will i ever have one. you dont see muslims, buddhists, hindus, pagans, or taoists cutting down trees for some holiday do you? no you dont. hense another reason why they are more awesome than christianity. Current Mood: bitchy Current Music: randomness im in a bitchy mood damnit ( Customers in Line for Services )